Nausea And Vomitting.

I have had a couple days of absolute agony and annoyance, one moment I am feeling absolutely fine then the next minute I am plagued with nausea and overwhelming sensation to throw up and a headache border lining on migraine type pain. It has been absolute hell, I have been unable to et properly for days, and what I have managed to stomach has struggled to stay down. After taking an emergency trip down the doctors I made sure to inform the doctor of all of my symptoms and see what he had to say.

I must admit he was anything but helpful, but he did let me know that it might have just been wind, but after the past couple days even I know it's not wind. It's something far more wonderful and adaptable than that, it's stress. It has wreaked absolute havoc on me lately and has continued on for a number of days, but I am hoping that there are not many more days to go.

The doctor even stated I should take a preliminary pregnancy test just to be better safe than sorry, I honestly thought I could have been but thankfully the test came up 'not pregnant' however it still doesn't help the odd feeling of nausea.

I shall keep you guys updates, because I do hope that by the end of the week at least I shall be back at the gym.

See you soon,

I Lost Hope.

Today I thought I would be good and make it to the gym, but after waking up I could feel how much of a weight was on me, not physically but emotionally. I knew today was not the day to start gym, I honestly believe I still need a day or two to repair.

I recently found out that due to me being on anti-depressants you can't take Night Nurse (the medication) which is exactly what I did for two days straight until reading the leaflet, after seeing how the medication affected me I knew to stay far away. Basically, the Night Nurse has a very bad reaction with the anti-depressants I'm on so I definitely don't recommend it to any one. I am in no way saying that everyone will be affected, but I definitely felt off.

I had cold symptoms, was suffering from no appetite, lack of energy, too much sleep, and of course mild nausea and vomiting. And for me that is definitely not an ideal way to start work - throwing up.

So okay, I let myself down in a sense.

But...

This isn't in no way the end. I must know that yes it will take me a while to get back on my feet and that is exactly why I wanted to take one step at a time. This will be tough, and I will struggle but I have to face it head on, both fitness wise and depression wise.

Wish me luck and 

See you soon,

Do I Say I'm Back...?

It's another post where I am honestly thinking, it's time to start again.

Not just at the gym and actually taking it slow and logging everything down but actually re-vamping this awful looking blog. I know I designed it all myself, but there are names and layouts and even just colours that need to leave this blog.

Once and for all.

I have reached a point where I think I need to take baby steps, very small baby steps. I am going to open up much more about how I shall be trying to maintain a gym routine with depression and how difficult I have been finding it. Because if I am completely honest, it has been once of the hardest goals I have ever had to aim for.

I have had depression for a number of years now, and I do honestly wish that I had tackled it by now but both myself and my past friends underestimate how difficult this mental condition is. In no way am I comparing it to any other mental condition, as I know that each one is painfully difficult to overcome in it's own way.

It's just how strong you are, and how you face it. I have been extremely dismissive in my depression assuming I can tackle it all my own without the help of medication or therapy and honestly it has not been the answer. I am on medication Sertraline 100mg a day, actually but my next step in the right direction is to look into therapy anything that will be supportive and help me to develop an insight into my depression. People are always so quick to judge stating 'I hate when people are depressed when they have nothing to be depressed about,' that person in no way knows what you are going through and even with an explanation they shall still never understand.

Your mind is your mind, and only you can figure it out with guidance and support and most importantly love...

Now, I'm drifting slightly off course here. My main point is, I am looking into getting myself into a gym routine, this shall start off with me literally tackling one day at a time. I am looking no further than that one day.

I have found that for the first week of your exercise you should look into doing one hour of walking, for at least 5 days of the week if you can. If I can do even one day of this workout, I shall be immensely proud of myself. It really is all about one step at a time.

But...

There is one more important aspect of my health and fitness that I need to consider before even worrying about Exercise and that is my DIET. Do you know what I had to eat today:

2 X Yoghurts
1 X Grab Bag of Skips
1 X Grab Bag of Walkers Salt and Vinegar
1 X Sausage Roll
1 X Apple
Half a steak, with some runner green beans and some fried onions

For a diet - that is not health in any remote way. I really need to look into providing my body with much cleaner and healthier food which will actually benefit me and help me to improve both inside and out.

I guess I can only log everything I'm doing and keep track, after all every time I log something new it'll be a mental push for me. Knowing that I am actually doing something good, I am actually going in the right direction.

In another happy thought, I can also track my boyfriends development as well. His name is Corey Bates and I shall do an entire post separately for him as he is worth every single word I have to say about him. After all I can't adore or praise him any more than I already do, if I can help him to become a better and healthier version of himself than that is something that I shall aspire to do.

I'll see you all, hopefully after tomorrow of DAY ONE

Goodbye for now,

Maybe This Time.

Maybe this time I'll actually have some luck, I am attempting to go gym once again. Yes, you have heard me right, I am trying again. I have been two days so far, and the first one was definitely more successful than the second.

I started on Monday 29th September I went with Shauna and we just gave ourselves a chance to get back into it, it was pretty awesome to be back. I must admit I do kind of miss the place when I don't go, I'm surprised I lasted so long not going. Then I gave myself a rest day as I was completely exhausted. Then Wednesday 1st October came around.

Glen joined the gym that day, and joined myself and Shauna to a session at the gym, well technically we joined him as he was already there, he is a bit of an early bird that one. Maybe he'll be able to help me get into a routine of having early gym sessions. Well, I say that but it'll take some time.

The gym session went well and then myself, Shauna and Glen all had a nice shop around town and even chilled for a bit. It's good because we can help motivate each other into getting fitter which to be honest I think we all need the most. Motivation, support and just good company.

I'm going to go gym again tomorrow, but unsure of what time yet. As to be honest these gym sessions have exhausted me lately, but it is only my first week back so it'll be interesting to see how I'll progress in time. As the weeks go by, I am slowly going to try and push myself and add more days into my routine. 

I am hoping to workout 6/7 days a week, it's going to exhaust me, but it'll be worth it.

One step at a time I guess. 

Next week should hopefully be a little easier and I'm going to aim towards 4 workout sessions that week, hopefully they should last 40-50mins long. Then as the weeks progress on they'll be lasting 1 hour long, and then they'll be including an extra 20mins for strength workouts. 

I have a plan, let's hope I can stick to it.

Attempt 1,000,000.

I'm back again, and I'm intrigued to know how well I'm going to do this time around. It's going to take some preparing and definitely some pushing, but mentally I feel like I need to start this soon.

Everything has been completely crazy in my life, I have been running myself ragged. I've finally got myself 2 jobs, which is one more than I originally needed and I've started University. I am now studying Graphic Communication with Typography, it's painful and to say I am struggling is an understatement, but I am trying.

I've found myself unstable, and struggling to deal with positive thoughts, I've been very self critical lately. I don't know if it's because I don't feel like I'm good enough or not, but I do know one thing I am going to practise healthy thinking.

Every time I say something bad I have to say something good, it's going to be difficult to do but my mind will eventually get used to it.

I will also hopefully be starting gym again soon, I don't get very many spare hours now-a-days, but I will try my very best to stay on top of University work and also to stay on top of work, then I will be able to attend gym without any worries in the world.

I am going to be doing my best to update this blog on an almost regular basis, I will be hopefully using it as a fitness journal.

I may even look into making a special page for the journal and then the main blog page can be dedicated to other important posts like changes, etc.

Wish me luck everyone.

Cellulite & Stretch Marks.

We all have those beautiful marks that taint our bodies, but should we look at them as completely bad marks or should we embrace them and use them as a lesson and a reason to change ourselves? I don't know about any of you, but my stretch marks and cellulite started popping up when I gained weight, at first I ignored them. Soon enough, I started to feel self conscious about them and now I just know that I will work as hard as I have to, to get rid of them and train my body to the best that it can be.

I know for a fact that weight loss is not easy and I have been looking into ways of giving myself that extra bit of exercise to hopefully start seeing results. I found out, that I should be working out 6 out of 7 days a week for at least 45 minutes if I want to see decent results, of course this makes me not only scared but worried that I won't be able to afford it, which trust me is the story of my life.

But I am going to try, thankfully I have two dogs that need exercising and a boyfriend who needs to lose a few pounds so I'm going to drag him around with me, whilst walking the dogs and I'm going to look into buying a pedometer, this way I can make sure I do a minimum of 10,000 steps a day.

Now, we can't exactly understand Cellulite until we study it and understand why it's there in the first place, so I did my research and found a reasonable image which basically explains what it is and why it is the way it is. I know that Cellulite is something that none of us want, but remember almost everyone has it, even those beloved celebrities.

 It isn't impossible to get rid of either, it just takes time, effort and dedication and of course willpower. As long as you are willing to get rid of it, it'll go. I have been looking into the wonderful Bio Oil product that you hear so much about, and I have seen a lot of good reviews about this. I am going to purchase this (when I have money) and I'm going to review it weekly, you are supposed to see your best results once you've been using it for 3 months, which is highly recommended by both the company and the reviewers. I will take photo's of my thighs weekly and give you before and after photo's. This way if it does work, for me, I can give you my honest opinion. Then if you want to banish the cellulite, that maybe the way to go.


We all know that cellulite and stretch-marks come in many different sizes and shapes. No matter what size or shape it isn't exactly wonderful, but just remember you do not have to be a larger lady to get cellulite, this stuff is just as mean on those skinny-minnies.

So, do any of you out there have any good methods of getting rid of cellulite and stretch-marks, have you found any exercises that have tamed it in a matter of weeks?

If so please feel free to comment below, after all, all of your comments are welcome. Don't feel afraid to share your opinion, or perhaps there is something you may want me to post about, something you are interested in, I can do the research for you.

After all this blog is for all of you out there, who have taken the time everyday to read my blog posts and just browse around my blog.

It would be amazing to hear from you all.

Good luck on your weight loss.

Food Avoids Me.

I don't know how this post came to mind, but as seen as I haven't updated this blog in a little while I felt the need to basically tell you all what is going on food wise with my diet and exercise routine. As you may not know, yet, is that I am an amazingly big lover of all things food related. I will eat anything from crab meat, to the sweetest chocolates. I just adore the stuff.

Then it happens, and I don't know how but suddenly I look at food as if it's a must have instead of a want or need this I believe is in fact a huge improvement from craving food 24/7 which I did do once upon a time. I have found myself looking at food but never drooling due to it's mouth watering amazingness.

I mean, look at the meal above, I would eat that no problem but at the same time I am just not interested. I'm actually barely eating even two meals a day, it's just what I need not want I want any more. Although I am being very good and trying my best to eat the right types of food, although it is not easy I can honestly tell you that.

The strangest part of it all is that my weight is both going up and down, it's almost as if it can't make it's mind up. That has to be the strangest part, although I can see the changes on my body which is even stranger. I will never quite understand how the body works.

I am going to be looking into cellulite etc in my next post, and I'll even show you mine. You are not alone.

Sorry for the bad post today, I think exhaustion has officially taken over my body.