A Turning Point.

 Those Photo's

We all have those photos we are ashamed to have seen, and well these are just a few from a recent holiday that are all over Facebook and are horrendous.

I honestly would be happier if no one saw them but we have to face up to the truth that this maybe what I look like in photo's but the reality is I look like this everyday. Minus the nice curly hair.

After this holiday everything started clicking in place and now it's finally sunk in, this problem with my weight had to be sorted out as quickly as possible, because I shouldn't look like this. This isn't who I am, or who I believe I should be.

< Thankfully this photo here wasn't too bad or the one below, it just gives you an idea of how short I am (5 ft 1 inch) and how large I am at size 12 - 14 though I look bigger. 

During the holiday I have myself a break the only downside was, I gave my body too much of a holiday and lavished it with sweet treats and fat filled foods. Which left me feeling horrible and my skin looking horrible, then of course the weight gain that was accompanying the food that I'd eaten.

I began to process the parts of my body that I was least happy with and were becoming my trouble area's, I found my arms and thighs to be my main concern. As I can't wear a dress if I wanted to without tights because my thighs rub together and cause horrible chaffing. Although it all sounds quite funny the whole experience is actually quite horrible.

The Worst. 

After flicking through these photos on Facebook I came across these three which I found to be the worst photo's of me so far, with the extra weight that I have gained. Now just remember I am size 12 - 14, well that's what the label says but from the next three photo's you'd think differently. I know I sure did.

We were having pre-drinks before going to the bar, whilst we were drinking of course we took a few photo's. At the time I felt like I looked okay, of course this was nothing but 'beer goggles' in fact I looked pregnant and that's when the realisation hit me.

Especially when an Aunt of mine said 'Are you pregnant?' I began to feel a rage I haven't felt for a long time. It wasn't with the comment, no. My Aunt will only know what she see's in the photo. It was a rage with myself, I had let myself get like this and for what reason?

I had allowed myself to ruin my body even more than already and replace it with this shell of who I really am. The bottom photo is the worst one you'll see for now, and honestly, this isn't what I want to be, or how I want to look.

I have begun going gym again, although it's been extremely difficult due to College deadline date approaching all too quickly, actually it's this Friday and I'm the group leader so I have to make sure all the work is completed and we have a 20 minute presentation to prepare for which is going to be extremely hard to do.

I have even downloaded a couple apps to hopefully help when going gym, running and my eating habits.

The following apps are:

Running: Nike+ Running

Diet: My Fitness Pal

Exercises: Fitness Buddy

All of these apps can be found on the App Store for iPhones etc.

Let's hope they help me reach my goal.

Wish me luck everyone, comment if you want any advice or just want to ask a question.